


A New Mission

by mischievousmoonhunter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischievousmoonhunter/pseuds/mischievousmoonhunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After three years, Aella wakes up from a coma, into a world where she has been adopted by Tony Stark, and gets to live with him - and all the other Avengers - in Stark tower. While living there, she discovers a lonely sould living there, and she is determined to make him part of the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

We live in a time of constant change. Everything and everyone seems determined to be something or someone else tomorrow. Yet, we don't realise this often. Most days we just live our lives, and once in a while we look back and think: "How different do we all seem".  
Well, let me tell you: when you wake up after _three_ entire years, you do see the differences. Suddenly the entire world in unknown to you. People talk differently, walk differently, smile differently. All of a sudden it is "out of style", or "not an issue anymore".  
Luckily, the world doesn't always change for the worse.  
Take me, for example. I went to sleep as some kind of "Jane Doe", and woke up a Stark. It was truly a dream come true.  
I thought about that moment when Tony was holding me close, his arm wrapped around me, while he ushered me to his (way too expensive) car. In that brief moment I had opened my eyes, his expression had changed from suppressed sadness to liberated joy and relief. Yes, what a moment that was.

'I see they were out of normal cars,' I remarked. Tony opened the door for me, and helped me slide down into the utterly comfortable seat.  
'If you don't like it you can stay in the hospital,' he responded, closing the door for me, and making his way around the hood of the car.  
'Tempting…' I mused. 'Should I live forever in the hospital were the food in reasonable and the beds soft, or should I go and live with a bunch of freaks- excuse me, hero's? Decisions, decisions…'  
The car started to rumble softly as Tony turned the key, pulsating only slightly as the engine came to life.  
'I can't promise about the food – we usually just get some takeout.' If I hadn't known him better, I would have thought he sounded ashamed and apologetic.  
'Let me guess,' the wind now rustled the little strands of hair that escaped my messy bun, 'it's usually shawarma?'  
'Only if I get my way.' He grinned. Then his face relaxed again, and with an odd expression he stared onto the road before us. 'You are okay with living with us, the freaks I mean, right?' This time I was sure about the apologetic look.  
'Sure, sure,' I replied hastily, immediately feeling bad for saying it. 'I am very happy you're taking me in, Tony. You know that, right?'  
After quickly checking my expression, Tony's characteristic smirk returned. 'Course, you will be living in none other than the real Stark Tower. You must be truly honoured!'  
'Don't get cocky,' I smiled, admiring the view, while my thoughts drifted off. Today, I knew, a new life would begin.  
After a somewhat long drive, we ended up parking underneath the famous – or infamous – Stark Tower.  
Bowing slightly Tony opened up the car door. 'Welcome to our humble abode.'  
'Jeez...' I breathed out, looking up. Tony hauled my bag over his shoulder, and wrapped his other arm around me again.  
Together we made our way inside, and then to the elevator, which brought us to the uppermost floors, labelled "penthouse". Just before the elevator doors opened up, I got to contemplate my life: I was about to meet earth mightiest heroes in sweatpants and wide hoody, while I probably still looked like a zombie slash scarecrow. One might say those weren't the best circumstances for a first impression.  
_Ding_.  
Too late.  
The doors slid open, revealing a wide space divided in multiple parts, all with their own purpose. At the moment I was looking at the living area.  
There sat four people who seemed utterly out of place; four people who were all faster, stronger and more special than me.  
Tony and I took some steps out of the elevator, before Tony sat down the bag, but kept his arm around me protectively.  
'Guys!' He raised his voice, demanding their attention. They all looked up, and rose to their feet.  
'Hello, you must be Aella!' A tall, muscular, blonde man approached me, his hand protruded, his face softened in a kind smile.  
'Hi, yes, that's me,' I said awkwardly, accepting his hand. 'You must be Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you, mister Rogers.' How I wished that I could sink down into the floor.  
Steve wrinkled his nose. 'Please call me Steve, mister Rogers make me feel so old.'  
'You are old,' Tony muttered. I poked him in the ribs; he was not making this easier.  
'Then nice to meet you, Steve.'  
'Well Tony, at least she doesn't have the manners of a Stark.' He smiled again, and I blushed.  
'Thank God for that,' the redheaded woman said, grinning while she shook my hand. 'Natasha. Nice to have some more Oestrogen in this tower.'  
'Nice to have you here. I'm Bruce.' His handshake was short and awkward, but I instantly liked him; he seemed like a nice guy.  
'It truly is an honour to meet you, Lady Aella.' Thor's greeting was more exuberantly than everybody else's, and his smile was wide and genuine.  
'Nice to meet you, Thor,' I said, my cheeks heating.  
'Wait a minute,' Tony said. 'I miss someone, where's Barton?'  
At that something crashed with a loud bang against something solid, and I heard a pained exclamation. The fifth Avengers appeared in the kitchen, rubbing his head, holding a sandwich. He waved with his snack-filled hand.  
'Hi, I'm Clint.'  
'Hi.' I waved back. I was so incredibly flustered, that it felt like a had a fever.  
'You okay?' Tony asked.  
'Sure,' I muttered, hiding my hands in my sleeves. 'It was good meeting you all...' That moment I simultaneously tried to face them and not look anyone into the eyes.  
'Let's find you your room,' Tony suggested matter-of-factly. As a response I nodded, still feeling utterly ashamed. With a gentle press of his arm, he ushered me to a hallway flanked with doors, and brought me to a more remote part. Here he opened up a crimson door, and let me in.  
The room itself was quite simple; white walls, a silvery bed with white curtains, a desk, closet and some more basic stuff. I also got my own bathroom.  
I didn't really know what you wanted, so I thought we could decorate it later?' Tony looked at me unsurely. I smiled.  
'Sure. Though I am also happy with how it is.' He nodded, embraced me, stood there awkwardly for another couple seconds, and let me alone, to get used to my new surroundings.  
I slumped on my back on the bed, sighing heavily.  
'Welcome home... Aella Stark.'


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, I woke early, and I shambled to the kitchen with my eyes still half closed. I stood there, for a second not knowing what to do or why I had gone, when I saw a dark silhouette appear in the doorway. The dark-haired man looked at me for a short moment, his gaze dark and inexplicable, before he swiftly and soundlessly turned away and left. Unsure and drowsy I wondered if I had really seen him. I didn't know there was one more person staying here. Maybe I should ask Tony.  
With a fresh mug of coffee in my hands, I went down to the lab, indeed finding Tony there working on his suit.  
'Good morning!' I said cheerfully. He turned around in surprise.  
'Hey! Is it morning yet?'  
I sighed, rolling my eyes. 'Yes, I brought coffee.'  
'Great!' he smiled, came towards me, took the mug and tousled my hair. 'You're an angel.'  
'Sure,' I snorted. 'But I am going to make you breakfast, and you are going to eat it. No denial possible.'  
'Right,' he chuckled, 'I'll be up in a sec, just finishing something up.' He winked at me, and smiling in response, I turned back around.  
'O,' I halted, 'I almost forgot. Who is that dark-haired man I saw just now?'  
'Did he bother you?' I was already walking away, but the tension in Tony's voice stopped me.  
'No,' I replied very slowly, 'I only saw him.'  
'Good. That's Barnes, he's staying here too, but he won't bother you.' His voice was uncharacteristically tense and edgy, so I decided to let it be for the moment being.  
'Okay, I guess… See you in the kitchen!'

Rumbling through the cupboards I wondered about this Barnes, and what he must have done to make Tony dislike him so much. Why was he allowed to live in the tower, but apparently not talk to me? Or did he just not want to, did he think I didn't belong here? Perhaps he had objected to me coming to stay here.  
I was happy to find all the ingredients I needed, and while I was baking, the Avengers slowly assembled around the kitchen table.  
'Are those pancakes?' Clint asked, sniffing they air and yawning.  
'Yes, they are! And they are extremely marvellous!'  
'Thanks Thor,' I blushed a bit. 'They're just pancakes...'  
'Let me be the judge of that!' Clint sat down enthusiastically, grabbing a plate and positioning it so I could easily serve him.  
'One pancake for Legolas, is coming!' I smiled at him shyly. He scowled at me in response.  
'If I didn't have a weakness for pancakes, I'd shoot you.'  
When I had given him the pancake, his frown disappeared. I looked at the five adults sitting before me, and seeing them like this, enjoying something as simple as pancakes in the morning, it was hard imagining those guys saving the world. It was strange, but I suddenly felt weirdly responsible and protective about them. As if they'd need me…  
'Tony better come quickly,' I mumbled to myself, adding pancakes to a constantly growing pile.  
'Tony and breakfast?' Steve sounded doubtful.  
'O, he will come,' I ensured him with absolute certainty.  
'You seem awfully sure.'  
'Yes, because I asked him to,' I said sternly. And indeed, Tony showed up, dark circles underneath his eyes, looking incredibly tired.  
'Pancakes!' His enthusiastic exclamation didn't really sound as energetic as he had probably meant it.  
Worriedly I frowned at him. 'You don't get them until you promise you'll go and get some sleep.'  
'Wow Tony, sounds like you've got a boss,' Natasha grinned. 'I thought you didn't obey orders?'  
'Let me tell you,' Tony said, very seriously, pulling back a chair and letting himself fall on it, 'I do not joke around when stakes are as high as Aella's pancakes.'  
'So you promise?'  
He smiled warmly. 'I promise.'  
'Good.' Satisfied I gave him an incredibly high pile, and generously poured maple syrup all over it. Tony, again, smiled thankfully and started attacking immediately.  
For a moment we were all eating, and we were just a bunch of people trying to wake up, for a not so normal day in our not so normal lives.  
When the Avengers had left, I put the plates in the dishwasher, wondering if that guy, Barnes, didn't need some breakfast.  
On one of the main computers I checked for his whereabouts, and took a small plate filled with some pancakes and syrup. I felt a bit stupid walking down the hallways of a supersonic safe building with the best security there is, filled with people who could barely be called people, while holding a plate of pancakes.  
Nervously I stood before his door, breathing in deeply to draw some courage into my veins. Carefully I knocked, to get no answer. Breathing out again I took the little notebook I always carried with me, and wrote a little note.

_Hello J. Barnes,_

_I don't know you, but I thought you might want some breakfast._

_Kind regards,_

_Aella_

_(The new resident)_

Reading it again made me cringe, so I put it down quickly, before I looked once more at the lonely plate before walking away.


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't help myself, and knew Tony would probably get mad at me for doing it – though he couldn't stop me now, as he had done as he promised (which made me feel extra bad about what I was about to do) – but I kind of hacked the secured system with all the personal files. It was not a good thing to do, no, but I tried to look around the very personal stuff.

James Buchanan Barnes, it said, born March 10, 1917.  
It showed a picture of "young" James Barnes, in the uniform of an American soldier. He looked so innocent, proud to be wearing the uniform and even a bit excited to prove his own worth.  
His dark hair was shorter, and I could see he was actually very good looking, with fair skin, dark hair and light eyes. The picture saddened me, as those pre-war pictures always did; those innocent young men, thinking they could win the war quickly, and be home by Christmas. None of them realising how many of them wouldn't return at all, and those who did, would never forget what they had seen.  
I swiftly skipped the stories about his personal life, thinking that was not mine to read, and read the part about being tortured and experimented on by some Swiss scientist working for HYDRA. He was saved by his friend, Steve, only to die assisting him in one of his missions. Or so they had thought.  
It had turned out the experiments had done some "good" things, and he hadn't died when he fell off a train, but had actually been rescued, tortured and experimented on again, until he had become the Russian, mind controlled, super soldier who had killed many.  
One line in particular stood out to me: "Among the victims of the Winter Soldier, was S.H.I.E.L.D. co-founder Howard Stark and his wife, Maria Stark."  
'Damn,' I whispered, immediately I shutting down the computer, staring blankly at the now black screen. I didn't want to know that. I cursed again; why wasn't that network more secure?

After sitting with my hands in my hair for a long while, I went to Tony's room, and sat in a chair waiting for him to wake up.  
'Aella?' he muttered, when he finally did so. 'Is there something wrong?'  
I sighed, fidgeting with my sleeves. 'I'm sorry Tony, I know I shouldn't have done it…' I didn't dare look him into the eyes.  
'What?'  
After a short hesitation, I told him the story of what I'd done.  
'I am so sorry about your parents, Tony,' I exclaimed, still looking down. 'I cannot imagine what you went through, and I shouldn't have stuck my nose in your business.' I glanced up again.  
'Well, I suppose it is my own fault; I haven't updated the systems in a while…' his tone was a bit light-hearted, a bit sombre.  
'Sorry,' I repeated. Again I looked down, at my hands, which were shaking. 'It's my fault, I-'  
'Come on!' Tony poked me in the shoulder. 'Curiosity is no sin! I would have done exactly the same; I should have told you more. Here,' he hugged me tight, then released me and poked me again, 'we're good, okay? You showed me I should update the system, that's all.'  
'You sure?' Insecurely I looked up.  
Tony raised his eyebrows. 'Repeat after me: it was totally your fault Tony.'  
'What?' I frowned.  
'No, no, repeat after me: it was totally your fault Tony.'  
Seeing his slightly silly yet stern expression, I laughed. 'It was totally your fault, Tony.'  
'Good girl, now, here,' he pushed a thin laptop into my hands, 'go and fix the system!'  
I opened up the laptop, while he guided me towards the door. 'But it is password secured?'  
Tony grinned. 'So?' He winked. 'Show me what you've got. Maybe we could do a game, trying who can hack the FBI the quickest.'

I took the laptop to the kitchen, were I made a cup of tea to warm my hands and core as I typed. Theoretically I hadn't done this in three years, though to me it seemed only yesterday.  
My fingers typed the commands almost as fast as my eyes could read the coding. This was something I had been good at without me knowing why; I just "felt" the computer, and knew exactly how to make it do what I wanted. How many times I hadn't wished I couldn't do the same with people. Many say computers are complicated, but they follow rules, they follow logic – people, not so much…  
As everyone was doing something productive outside the Tower, I had to eat my lunch alone. I even had almost forgot about it, so at the last moment I just grabbed some bread and chewed at bare slices while continuing my work. It wasn't long before I found multiple places where it would be easy to breach the security, and silently cursed Tony for being so negligent. These were the Avengers we were talking about!  
Eventually my eyes refused to read one more letter or number on the screen, so I closed the laptop, and was surprised to find it almost dinnertime. Out of habit I started cooking, trying to use as much fresh ingredients I could find.

When the Avengers came home – tired, worn out and a bit cranky – I could see their spirits being lifted by the welcoming sight of a set dinner table.  
They all thanked me, which made me very uncomfortable, as I had always cooked dinner; it was just a habit. As they ate their voices became louder and more enthusiastic, whilst they discussed their mission, leaving me outside of the conversation. I didn't mind it that much, as I had never really conversed during dinner. Besides, it was relaxing to hear them debate about who had done, or note done, certain stuff. They really had a family's vibe around them.  
When cleaning, I stacked the plates, and put them into the dishwasher. I smiled when I found the empty, small plate that had contained the last pancakes when I had last seen it.  
During the night I was awakened by many loud noises. Shuffling towards the door I rubbed my eyes, feeling like I was still very much asleep. I opened the door, and saw everyone running around. People were yelling, collection stuff and making their way towards the yet.  
'O, Aella, you're awake, good.' Tony appeared before me straightening his clothes. 'We have been called on a sudden mission, I wish I could stay-'  
'Just go,' I said, interrupting him.  
'You sure?'  
I nodded, giving him a tiny smile. 'I'll be fine, and really not as important as saving the world.'  
'You're great, you know. I wish Mr "you can't wake me in the middle of the night because I will whack you in the face" was as easy-going.' That last comment was obviously aimed at Clint, who was just running past.  
'It is a reflex!' he replied, not at all apologetically.  
'Not the second time!' Tony called back.  
'You should be going,' I said, looking down at my hands. 'Saving the world makes you happy.'  
Tony hugged me for a split second, before letting me go.  
'You're a great kid!' he called, as he made his way to the yet.  
'Thanks…' I muttered quietly, when he had already gone. I smiled; he really seemed to mean it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

So I was alone. And let me say this: even though the penthouse was only the tip of the iceberg, it was still massive. I realised this as I went to the kitchen the next morning, and I felt the emptiness pulling at me.  
Today I decided to make some waffles, because… well, to distract me from the emptiness in the building and simply because I could.  
I tried to get one waffle down, but it didn't go well. I felt nauseas, a bit sick. What was wrong with me? This house was better than anything I could have dreamed of. Yet, alone it didn't feel so much as a home.  
'Stupid!' I muttered to myself, I wasn't alone at all. Quickly I took the rest of the waffles (I had made a little too much, as I had been _very_ distracted) and hurried to Barnes' room.  
Again I put a little note on them.

Hello James,

It seemed like you enjoyed the pancakes, so I thought I'd make you some waffles.

I'm sorry if they are a bit tough – I was a bit distracted as I made them.

Kind regards,

Aella

It felt so silly, that little note. And it felt ridiculous as I thought about who would receive it; a super soldier who could kill me with his little finger if he wanted to. Still, I felt bad for him, as he stayed in his chambers. Was this what he always did, I wondered, or just because Tony was so on edge since I got here?  
I decided to continue working on the security, as I had nothing better to do. Staring at a computer screen, such a good way to spend all of my day. Eventually I made dinner, and put some of it in the fridge, while shoving a note underneath James' door. I continued working on the sofa, laying on my belly, while my eyelids dropped. Just one more line, I told myself, one more line.  
I woke in the morning, still laying on the couch, a blanket stretched across me, and my laptop on the salon table. Had I done that? I must have forgotten it.  
Then I noticed the little note, left on the laptop, written in a messy handwriting, as if that person hadn't written in a very long time.

thank you for the food  
you are a good cook

I smiled. Somehow did this compliment so much more than those of the other Avengers. Because I knew, that how sincere they might be, they still felt obliged to be nice. This person didn't have to say anything.  
Today I made omelettes for breakfast, with paprika, tomato, a bit of onion and pepper. Again I left one before James' door.

Dear James,

I am happy that you liked my cooking; I really hoped you would.  
Today something a bit different.  
I hope you like a bit of spice.

Kind regards,

Aella

It was again a silly note, though I didn't know anything else to write.

Back in the living room I put on some music, some of my favourites, before returning to the laptop. I didn't really know how to improve it anymore, but now I was just rearranging the code, trying to make Tony's mess a bit more controlled, without crashing the system.  
At noon I had had enough, and roamed the penthouse, straightening decorations and cleaning some stuff up.  
Afterwards I went to my own room and started drawing on the wall with a black marker, a little habit of mine. I figured that if someone would object, I would just paint over it.  
I started with a small rose, and gave it leaves, and surround it with vines, which connected multiple animals.  
Laying on my bed to admire what I had made so far, I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

At night I felt a strange urge to go to the roof, and while not being able to fall back asleep, I did.  
Reaching the roof with the elevator, I stepped outside, suddenly realising it was quite cold - and that there was already someone sitting at the edge.  
James turned around, his face half hidden behind his shoulder length hair.  
'I'm sorry,' I mumbled immediately, 'should I go?' He looked at me strangely, with eyes hidden in shadow. Slowly he shook his head.  
'Can I come sit there?' He nodded.  
'Thanks.' I sat down beside him, letting my legs dangle over the edge. 'Doesn't the city look kind of beautiful at night?' I wondered out loud, more talking to myself than to the man next to me. 'When it is dark you cannot see the horrors, only the lights. Those are more prominent at night. And when I sit here, looking down, it is hard to imagine being part of this world, isn't it?' I shivered, remembering I was only wearing my soft pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt.  
Suddenly James moved, a bit faster than I could register, and I felt his leather jacket around me, giving me the warmth he had radiated into the fabric. Surprised I looked at him, still not able to read his eyes.  
'Thank you.' I smiled a little. 'Do you come here often?'  
He nodded.  
'At night?'  
He nodded again. Something glinted in the moonlight, and my eyes were drawn to his metal arm. He saw me look, and changed his posture, hiding it from view. I saw his eyes, and could make out one thought from the gambled emotions.  
'You're scared,' I said surprised. He only looked down to his hand – his "normal" hand – frowning. His shoulders were bent slightly, as if he was trying to keep the word out. What in this world could frighten a man like him? But then it became very clear to me; himself.  
'It gets worse?' I guessed. He nodded, still not looking at me.  
'Why don't you tell somebody?' His head jerked to my side, his eyes first filled with fire, then with panic.  
'You are afraid?' He nodded slightly. 'Afraid to get locked up again?' He nodded again.  
I chewed my lip for a moment. 'I understand, I won't tell. But if you think you need help, just come to me, deal?' For just a moment he looked me in the eyes, then nodded.  
'Good,' I smiled carefully. 'Then I'll go to bed, now. Goodnight.' Bucky bowed his head again. I assumed that was a goodnight. I took off the jacket, and hung it gently around his shoulders before I made my way to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

'May I join you?' I was surprised to hear his voice, very soft and gentle. I turned around, and saw James standing in the doorway, still covered in shadows. He was wearing faded jeans and a black hoody, which covered his metal arm completely. His head was slightly bowed.  
'Of course!' I smiled, gesturing to the kitchen table. 'Though I am afraid today breakfast will take a bit longer to prepare; I was thinking about baking some bread.'  
'I have time.' He slowly made his way to the table, and sat down as far away as possible.  
I started to collect everything I needed, humming softly while I did so. When I had gathered everything I needed and had put it together, it was time to knead the dough.  
I hadn't really anticipated how much effort that would cost me, and soon I was breathing heavily.  
'Do… do you need help?' James sounded very insecure.  
'If you maybe could help me knead the dough, that would be great.' I stepped away, and after he washed his hands, he started kneading, apparently without effort.  
'You're good,' I noted, 'I bet the bread will be delicious!'  
A very tiny smile appeared on his lips. 'Glad to be of service.'  
When the dough seemed ready, I put my hand on his arm to stop him. His entire body froze, and I quickly withdrew.  
'Sorry,' I muttered.  
He let out a long breath. 'It's… okay… I am just…'  
'Tense?' I offered.  
'Yes,' the little smile appeared again, 'tense, that's the word.'

After finishing the small round breads, I made some tea, and handed James a mug. I blew in my tea while sitting down. James sighed, looked at his mug, and frowned.  
'How much… do you know about me?' he asked slowly.  
Instantly I felt bad. I chewed my lip. 'I'm sorry, I read your file. I shouldn't have,' I said, immediately. 'I was curious, and Tony wouldn't tell me anything.'  
James shook his head. 'It's okay, you should know. Stark's right: I am dangerous.' He was silent. 'So… you know about… me?'  
'I know about the Winter Soldier,' I said, emphasizing those last two words. 'I didn't read your personal files.'  
'Why? Those are more… enjoyable… to read.'  
'But those are your stories to tell, not for me to read whenever I please.' I took a sip of the tea, burning my tongue. 'Now, how much do you know about me?'  
'I heard Stark talk to the others, why you came here.' His eyes flickered up, holding me for a moment, then went down again.  
Sighing I set down my mug. 'Well, I don't think there is much more than that to me, I don't really have an interesting life story to share.'  
'I doubt that.'

The bread was indeed delicious, and very enjoyable. We were quiet while eating, and I plucked the soft parts out first.  
'Why do you do this, help everyone, here,' James suddenly asked. I frowned.  
'I guess because I always did those things, cook, clean, it is second nature. Though it is nice to have some proper ingredients, o, and of course someone who can knead the dough for me.' I smiled up at him. The corners of his mouth curled upwards.  
'How do you know Stark?'  
'I broke in, once.' I smiled at the memory. 'You have to know that I always felt some sort of… connection to technology, and I couldn't stay away from it. Imagine me, finding out Iron Man lived nearby. Well, not really nearby, I had to walk half the country, but still. I had to see his suit up close. Therefor I went up to the house, dodging and disabling his security systems, and broke into his lab. He found me there, just looking at the shining armour. Apparently he was impressed that I had gotten inside, so he said I could come there as often as I wanted, and develop my skills. So I did.'  
'Better than Stark?'  
I shrugged. 'Not necessarily better, but more patient. I have a superior eye for details that seem unimportant and take a lot of time – he just wants to save the word, I guess. That's why he lets me secure the systems here. He really made a mess within the networks.' I smiled fondly.  
I then rose to put the plates in the dishwasher. 'I'm sorry, I'm probably boring you.'  
'No!' James rose hastily. 'No,' he said softer, 'not at all. I- I really enjoyed listening to you.'  
I blushed a little, embarrassed by the attention. 'Thank you.'


	7. Chapter 7

That night I decided to do something incredibly stupid: I went onto the internet. From all the places, the internet changes quickest. It is a source of continuous news and information, almost always up-to-date.   
Foolish me decided to check the news – which is a very ordinary thing to do. However, I kept scrolling down, not understanding how those stories had played out. I kept scrolling, and I slowly began to realise how much one can miss in three years.   
As soon as I realised I wasn’t breathing, I put the laptop aside, gripping my knees as I lightly rocked myself back-and-forth. My body shivered, my brains seemed unable to process all the information. Silent tears fell down my face.   
‘Aella?’ His silent voice startled me. Swiftly I tried to hide my wet cheeks.   
‘O, hi, James… why- ehm, why are you here? Could you not sleep?’   
Maybe he didn’t hear my question, or he just ignored it.   
‘Were you crying?’ He seemed so lost, as he stood there, gripping his hands, obviously trying to strike an unintimidating pose.   
 Trying really hard to smile, I shook my head. ‘No… I was just- it’s nothing. Just stupid me… you know?’ my words were an incoherent mess – not much different from myself, actually.   
‘But… you seem scared… is it me? Have I done something?’ His face becoming a mask of guilt he stepped back.   
‘No! No… of course not!’ I hastily exclaimed. ‘No, I think it only hit me just now that I have been sleeping for three years…’   
‘O… I’m sorry…’   
A very tense silence.    
I sniffed, then laughed at myself. ‘Yeah, three years… I’m sorry. I know I am definitely now the one who has any right to complain… Sorry.’ I smiled at him, wiping my sleeve along my cheek.    
‘It’s okay…’ he moved a bit closer. ‘Are you all right now?’   
I nodded. ‘I think so…’ I rose from the couch. ‘I think I should be going to bed, and you too.’ Just as I moved a couple of steps forwards, I became suddenly extremely dizzy, and for a moment I could only see darkness. When my vision returned, James was holding me gently by the shoulders.   
'What, what happened?’ I blinked dully, trying to focus. Now I realised James’ face was really, really close. His breath touched my face as he answered me.   
'You fainted ’   
'Oh…’ I cursed myself for being so dumbstruck, as it made the embarrassing moment only more uncomfortable. 'Sorry…?’ I didn’t know why I said it like it was a question, I just did.   
James smiled, and I even thought I heard a soft chuckle.   
'I don’t think that is something you should apologise for.’   
'You are probably right. I think I really should go to bed.’ I took another step, but the world almost tipped again, so I grabbed James’ forearms. Through his shirt I could feel the tough metal of his prosthetic arm.   
'You okay? Should I help you get to your room?’ His dark eyes seemed lighter from up close, and I could distinguish worry inside the raging mess of emotions.   
Very carefully I nodded slightly. 'I think that may be a good idea.’   
And so he moved me to his right side, thus able to support me with his normal arm, before he guided me towards my room. He also opened up the door for me, and helped me sit down on the bed.   
’ Thanks,’ I sighed, crawling under my blanket, pulling it close, enjoying the softness of this new, luxurious bed.   
'You’re welcome.’ James was already at the door.   
'Good night, James,’ I said softly.   
'Goodnight.’ He grabbed the doorknob, not yet leaving the room. He lingered, looking at his own hand holding the door.   
'You know,’ He said very slowly, 'they used to call me Bucky. So, if you want to…’ the words were very unsure, like he thought I would laugh at him for suggestion I should use an old name of his, one that obviously meant something to him.   
'Bucky, huh?’ I smiled, hearing the almost familiar sound it had. 'I like that. Goodnight Bucky.’  
He gave me a very quick look, which seemed to hold relief.   
'Goodnight…’ he said once again.


	8. Chapter 8

The Avengers were completely exhausted when they came back the next day. I hugged Tony, after which he inspected me.   
‘You okay?’ He asked frowning. ‘You look pale.’   
‘Sure,’ I smiled. ‘A bit tired, but nothing too bad. You seem worse.’ At that moment Clint walked, or should I rather say crawled, into the room. 'Never mind,’ I chuckled, ’ Clint wins the prize for looking worst.’  
'He’s just a bit of a wimp.’ Though I was happy to see him in a rather good mood.   
'I think I know how to cheer him up.’   
A bit shyly I shuffled towards the chair Clint slouched down in, and cleared my throat.   
'Yea?’ He sighed, keeping his eyes shut.   
'Do you like pizza?’   
One of his eyes opened, and he seemed mildly interested.   
'It’s good food,’ He muttered suspiciously. 'Why do you ask?’  
'I was thinking of making some,’ I said innocently. 'Sadly my arms are a bit tired, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to dice the things I’ll need.’   
Clint’s other eye opened as well. 'Let me get this straight: if I’ll get out of this chair and help you in the kitchen, I’ll have homemade pizza for dinner?’   
‘Yes, that sounds about right.’ Seeing the debate play out in his head, it was hard not to smile.   
Suddenly his face lit up, and he jumped up. 'Pizza it is!’ He said enthusiastically.   
'I thought you were tired.’ I looked up, and saw Natasha raising her eyebrows at Clint. He pointed at me.  
'She drives a hard bargain, that Stark girl. She says that if I’ll help her cook, we’ll get pizza.’  
Natasha smiled. ‘It seems like you have found his weakness.’ Then she turned towards me. ‘Could you use another pair of hands?’   
'Sure,’ I said happily. 'The more the merrier, I suppose.’

And so I got two of the deadliest assassins to assist me in the making of pizza. When Bruce and Thor saw us work, they asked if they could help, too, and of course I let them. All of a sudden they all didn’t look so tired.   
'Hey, Tony!’ I called out, when he appeared again, 'why don’t you join us?’   
'Yeah, dude,’ Clint chimed in, while he swiftly cut the basil, 'no helping, no pizza.’   
For a moment Tony gaped at the wondrous sight of us all working together. Then a grin spread on his face, and he looked at me, proudly.   
'You got them to cooperate?’   
'It wasn’t that hard,’ I said, though I really treasured the pride in his voice, ’ You just have to be patient. I’m thinking about starting a restaurant.’  
'Really?’ Tony asked, while rolling up his sleeves.   
'Yeah, I only don’t know what to serve yet.’  
'Sandwiches!’ Clint immediately called out.   
'Coffee!’ Thor suggested.  
'I think there sure as hell should be shawarma.’   
'Of course you do,’ I smiled at Tony.

Finally, I shoved the first pizzas into the oven, and knew that the tricky part had come.   
'Hey, Tony,’ I said hesitantly, 'I was wondering… would you mind if Bucky ate with us…?’ Nervously I squeezed my hands. Tony’s face froze for a moment, before he looked at me, and sighed.   
’ No, no I do not mind. But if he hurts you…’ There was a dangerous edge to his voice, and I hugged him before he could finish his thought.   
'Thanks Tony. And he won’t, I promise.’  
'So you two have acquainted while we were gone?’ He asked grumpily.   
'I’ve spoken with him for a bit.’  
'Really?’ Tony sounded genuinely surprised. 'You really do have strange effects on people.’

I then swiftly made my way to Bucky’s room, knocking carefully. It was Steve who opened the door.  
‘Hey, Aella,’ he greeted me surprised.’ What brings you here?’   
'O, hi Steve. I actually came down here to ask Bucky if he’d like to join us for dinner.’  
'I made pizza,’ I added awkwardly.   
Steve seemed even more surprised. He opened the door a bit further, and revealed Bucky sitting down on his bed, his head turned our direction.   
'Hi, Bucky,’ I greeted him shyly. He didn’t react, only frowned.   
'Stark doesn’t want me there.’  
'I asked him, and he said it was okay,’ I assured him.   
'You hear that, pal?’ It was endearing to see how happy Steve was for his friend. ’ He doesn’t mind.’  
Bucky still didn’t look convinced. 'I don’t know… maybe that isn’t such a good idea…’  He looked down on his hands again, clearly unhappy with himself.   
I carefully made my way to his bed, and rested my hand on his shoulder. He stiffened for a moment, then relaxed again.   
'Come on, Bucky,’ I pleaded. 'I’ve made pizza, and I let the others do all the work, so it’s some kind of super-pizza. I don’t think you can miss that.’   
A tiny, insecure smile appeared on his face.   
'All right…’ He breathed.   
’ Thank you,’ I said gleefully, and made my way back to the door. Once more I turned around. 'Please hurry, otherwise I can’t guarantee Clint and Thor haven’t eaten everything.’


	9. Chapter 9

There was an almost physical tension when Bucky finally showed up in the main space, accompanied by Steve. I made him sit on my right, while Tony sat on the utter most left, on the same side as Bucky, so he wouldn’t stare him to death.   
While everyone started to devour the collaboration pizzas, conversation slowly started, until no one seemed to remember there was one extra person, or two, if you counted me.   
It wasn’t hard to tell, that Bucky did everything he could to make sure he wouldn’t touch me with his metal arm. How he did it was more of a riddle, as we were sitting pretty close to each other.   
‘Aella, I think you have made some great pizzas,’ Steve complimented me, smiling brightly. 'Don’t you think so, Bucky?’   
Bucky nodded, but kept his gaze down. Did he really hate being here so much? I wondered.   
'I’m sorry, Bucky,’ I sighed. 'If you really don’t want to be here I won’t mind it if you leave.’  
'What? No!’ His head jerked up, and his eyes were lost again. 'I think it’s… really kind of you to ask me here. I just… don’t know if I should be here.’ His eyes were full of a hidden meaning, and I suddenly remembered our conversation on the rooftop.   
’ Oh…’ I said softly. 'Well, I think you are doing a great job.’ I moved my arm to lift my glass, but for some reason it decided to tilt. I tried to catch it, but suddenly Bucky’s arm shot out, saving me from spilling grape juice all over myself.   
’ Thanks,’ I muttered surprised. Bucky just nodded again.

I went to sleep feeling extremely satisfied; they had all been so happy. They had all told me, though all in very different words, that they appreciated me. I actually felt needed.   
Though I didn’t get the good night sleep I had anticipated.

In the middle of the night I awoke, first not understanding why. Then I noticed the dark figure who was standing in the middle of the room, trembling, his fists clenched.

'Bucky?’ I sat upright and rubbed my eyes. 'What’s wrong?’    
He took an insecure step forwards, his eyes focussing on me. The light now caught his eyes, and I could see the dark struggle underneath the blue.   
‘O, no…’ I whispered, and quickly jumped out of bed. As slowly as one would approach a wounded animal I carefully reached out, tiptoeing towards him.   
‘Aella…’ Bucky pleaded, his voice broken and hurt.  
‘It’s all right,’ I shushed him. ‘You’re safe here. No one can hurt you. Here,’ I very carefully let my fingers slide over his tense arm, until I reached his hand. I held it there, giving him the choice of accepting it or not. He grabbed onto it. ‘Good. Now, please, sit down. Can you do that for me?’ He nodded slowly.   
Holding on to my hand as if with dear life, he stepped cautiously towards me.   
‘Come, sit,’ I ordered kindly. Again, he did as I asked. Though on the bed he kept his distance; while still holding my hand, he seemed to inch away from me.   
‘It’s okay, Bucky. It’s okay…’ I ensured him softly. He shook his head.  
‘I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you…’ he whispered.   
‘You won’t, I know you won’t. But please, let me help you.’   
Swiftly he glanced at me, and I smiled softly, trying to show him I really was there for him. Shocked I noticed how his eyes were wet.   
‘I see them, Aella, I can see them all…’   
Suddenly I was embracing him, and he had his face hidden in my loose hair. He didn’t sob, didn’t make a sound, only held me, his human arm wrapped around me.   
In that moment, I knew not what to say. However, I also knew that it didn’t matter; it was a kind presence he needed, not empty words.   
His immense pain hurt me too; it dawned on me how long he had kept pretending he was coping with it. How long had he been so afraid?

When Bucky finally released me, he didn’t dare look me into the eyes, and clamped his hands together, head down.   
‘You must stop torturing yourself, Bucky,’ I said desperately. ‘Don’t pull away again. Talk to me, look at me, or at least don’t shy away from me. You deserve to be happy.’   
Silence grew between us. I studied him, and saw his slightly loathing expression, as he watched his own hands. No, hand.   
‘It’s your arm, isn’t it?’   
His blue eyes looked at me shortly.   
‘It is nothing but a murder weapon…’   
‘What? No! Only because it was used to- no wait. If someone took my hand and used it to kill someone, would you never want to hold it again?’   
‘That’s not the same!’ Bucky rose from the bed, looking furious. ‘I am dangerous! If I lose control, I the Winter Soldier returns… then you’ll be dead. Don’t you get that?’   
‘Steve is dangerous! Tony is dangerous! Thor, Natasha, Clint, don’t even get me started on Bruce… they are all dangerous! You can’t keep hating yourself because of that!’   
‘Why not?’ He was looked dangerous now, though he still didn’t frighten me.   
‘Because I won’t let you!’   
He was stunned. His mouth was slightly opened, and he frowned.   
‘Why not?’   
I laughed, and shook my head. ‘Because I care about you…’ I smiled sadly. ‘I feel responsible; I want you to be happy… I care about you, very much.’   
‘But…’ he was silent again. His eyes were full of doubt.   
‘Give me your hand, your left hand,’ I demanded.   
‘But-’  
‘Just give it to me.’   
Very, very slowly he reached for my hand, putting his metal hand palm upwards in my grasp. With my other hand I pushed his fingers open, all the while I smiled encouraging at him. Then I carried his hand towards my face, and gently kissed his knuckles.    
‘It is a part of you you must learn to live with,’ I spoke softly. A pair of blue eyes was fixed on me, filled with all sorts of emotions.  
‘I will try…’ he breathed, while the corners of his mouth twitched for only a split second.


	10. Chapter 10

It comforted me, to see how easily the other Avengers got used to Bucky’s presence during meals, and sometimes even the lazy times they just hung around the living room. Needless to say, he mostly kept his distance, especially from Tony. Yet, he was there, he was present, he became part of their lives. He didn’t lock himself in his room too often.   
Mostly he kept quiet, but he often came to me in silence, and started helping me – reach for something, cooking, doing the dishes. All those simple things. Though the best thing happened at dinner time, as I sat beside him, sitting back and enjoying listening in on the conversations of others. Suddenly I felt something cold tough my hand, and when I looked up, I met Bucky’s eyes, as he carefully laced his metal fingers through mine. There was even a tiny smile upon his lips.

Another night I was awakened, not by Bucky who needed someone to calm him, but by a horrible nightmare of the car crash which had put me in a coma.   
Bolting upright I was drenched in sweat, and my breathing was fast and shallow. Without thinking about it, I jumped out of bed and ran through the lonely hallways, stopping in front of Bucky’s black door, knocking quietly.   
‘Aella?’ He whispered quietly, when he found me standing on his doorstep, barefooted and looking stressed.   
'I’m sorry…’ I muttered sheepishly, 'I known it’s silly… but I had a nightmare, and I was wondering… can I stay with you?’ I shivered, rubbing my arms.   
A tiny smile appeared on his lips. 'Of course, come in.’ He gestured into the room.   
’ Thank you!’ Quickly I made my way to the bed, crawling under the blankets. Bucky followed a bit more hesitantly.   
As soon as he lay down, I asked him in a tiny voice, 'Can I maybe lay against you? I’m cold…’   
He didn’t react, only moved closer, which I took as a sign of consent. I became a little ball of shivering girl, slowly relaxing when he put his arm over me. While my back pressed against his chest and our breathing synced up, I couldn’t believe how safe I felt. But it made sense, because I knew, that in that moment, Bucky felt safe too.


	11. Chapter 11

The situation inside the Tower became grim. At first I didn’t know what happened, even though I could clearly see and feel the tension rise inside the Tower. Eventually it started to drive me crazy, so I asked.   
‘Hydra,’ Tony sighed, 'they’re getting stronger and bolder. We’re not sure why they are stirring, but you know, can’t be much good, can it?’  
'They can’t get into the tower, can they?’ I asked worried. The idea alone made me shudder.    
Tony sighed again, rubbing his eyes, looking gloomy. 'I don’t think so, but honestly I am not a hundred per cent sure.’  
'Damn…’ Now I, too, felt glum. At that moment something occurred to me. 'Tony?’ I said shocked, ’ Do you think they have already breached the security, the virtual one, I mean?’   
'Shit,’ His eyes widened, 'Shit, if they have, it’ll be my fault.’ Simultaneously we started to run, grabbing hold of the first computer we could find. As fast as was physically possible I started typing, searching for any sign of break in.   
'No…’ I breathed, when I noticed the lines delivering the bad news. I shoved the keyboard to the side and put my head on the desk. Above me Tony cursed loudly.   
'Aella, what’s wrong?’   
'This is not the moment. Get out, will you?’ Tony’s voice was cold and sharp, unnecessarily so, no matter the situation.   
'Tony, please,’ I sighed, looking up at him. 'Leave Bucky alone.’ As Tony clenched his jaw, I looked over at Bucky. 'Hydra hacked us, so there’s a big chance they’ll know how to take down our “house protocols”.’  
'So you’re not safe here?’ His eyes grew darker.   
'Neither are you,’ I immediately protested when I heard how his worry was only about me. 'Why, they might come for you!’  
'Even more reason for you or me to leave.’ Now he crossed his arms, and his entire body screamed determination.   
There was as loud sigh. 'I hate saying it, but he’s right.’   
'Tony!’  
'Come on, Aella! You come live here, and suddenly Hydra is active again? I’m sorry, but you are the most vulnerable of us, and we all care about you; you make the perfect target.’   
I couldn’t believe my ears. 'So I’ll just have to go?’   
'We’ll bring you to a safe house,’ Tony continued, already ordering his private, more secure computers to find such a place. 'It won’t be forever,’ he added, 'only long enough for us to strengthen the Tower, and make sure all of it is secure.’  
'What? Tony, No!’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing: I had just gotten used to living here, I had started calling it home, and now I had to leave again? 'Absolutely not! You two are out of your mind. I’ll wait until the others are back, they will talk some sense into you.’ Irritated I crossed my arms and slouched down on the couch, my back towards them.

I got badly disappointed when the others returned; every single one of them agreed with the plan, even applauded it.   
'Why don’t you see this is ridiculous!’ I cried out. 'I shouldn’t leave the Tower, I-’   
'Aella, come on,’ Steve said gently. ’ You are a bright girl, you see it is a viable option, you being the target. Like Tony said, it won’t be forever. We’ll bring you back, I promise.’  
'Yeah, Kid,’ Clint agreed, 'it’ll be tough without your cooking. But I don’t want you to get hurt.’  
Desperately I slid my gaze across their faces; all very apologetic and compassionate, none showing a bit of doubt. This was going to happen, they seemed to say, and I had to accept it.


	12. Chapter 12

Both angrily and sad I stared at the unfinished drawings on the wall. ‘I had so many ideas,’ I said softly, holding back tears.   
'You’ll get the chance,’ Bucky ensured me. 'They’ll make sure they can get you back as soon as possible. They really care about you.’ There seemed to be even more sadness in his voice than mine, which angered me.   
'And what about you?’ I said quickly, turning around. 'Do you care about me?’ I glared at him defiantly.   
Bucky smiled sadly, his eyes warm. 'More than anything.’ His genuine tone startled me, though didn’t take back the doubt and desperation.   
'Prove it,’ I bit back.   
'All right…’ Bucky nodded, and came closer. I froze. Very carefully he raised his arms, and placed both hands on the sides of my face. My brain had stopped working, and so had my muscles. Even more carefully he went towards me, his face coming closer, his eyes filled with sorrow and dedication.   
Very slowly and gently he pressed his lips slightly on mine. Still, I was too stunned to react. The kiss was tender and filled with all the emotions neither of us could speak of.   
I was shocked, until I realised what was happening: this was a goodbye. Maybe not for forever, but a goodbye it still was.   
When that realisation struck, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing myself closer to him as I answers his soft kiss.   
The world evaporated around us, as for a moment there was nothing more than out touching lips.   
'Please…’ I whispered, when he pulled back.   
'No, you have to go… ’  
'What about you?’ I asked desperately, 'What if you have a nightmare, what if you need me?’  
'I could call,’ He smiled softly. 'They say technology has improved over the years.’   
'Will you visit?’   
'As often as I am permitted.’   
There was nothing more to say. I looked down.   
'I don’t want to go…’   
‘Please… if there was anything to happen to you… I need you…’   
There was a swift last kiss, before I embraced him tightly, gripping my arms around his neck.  
‘I will miss you,’ I whispered while silent tears dripped down.   
‘I’ll miss you too.’  
After that, there was nothing more to say; we headed out to the main space. He walked beside me, and I walked beside him. There was a connection now, I realised as I saw the sad, yet determined faces of the Avengers, between him and Tony and all of the others; they now had a goal to unite them. They would keep me safe, I was their treasure.   
Bucky was part of a team now. And that might be the only thing worth my departure.   
He had finally found a new mission.


	13. Chapter 13

‘Hey, Bucky,’ I greeted him sadly, looking at the screen of my laptop, where his face was displayed by thousands of pixels. He smiled, which hurt only more, knowing we were both trying to pretend we weren’t hurt. ‘How are you doing?’   
He blinked, hesitated just too long. ‘Good. I’m good.’ Which probably meant the nightmare were bad.  
‘I miss you,’ I sighed and raised my hand, stroking the screen. It was so cold; he was so far away.   
‘I miss you too.’ Even though he tried really hard to sound neutral, I could hear the longing in his voice, and see the sadness in his eyes.   
He would never tell me, but I had asked Steve, who had told me Bucky locked himself in his room again. On occasion he did come out, though not nearly as often as two months ago. He studied my face. ‘You don’t look well.’  
I shrugged. ‘Don’t really get out much, and I might be getting a cold. That, or I’m dying.’ I tried really hard to give him a confident smirk – I didn’t have to see it to know how I failed miserably.   
He pursed his lips at my comment, and I could see his brow furrow. ‘But you do stay in?’ Bucky urged.   
‘Yes, yes, I do. Although it is not as easy as all of you make it sound.’ I looked up as I heard someone enter the room. It was Tony, here to say goodbye. This meant Clint had arrived to replace him.   
‘Tony’s leaving,’ I told the camera. Bucky nodded.  
‘We should stop this, Aella; it isn’t smart to keep this connection going.’ Knowing very well he was right didn’t help to make me feel better. Everything was about safety now. Literally everything.   
‘Bye.’ One word, even though I wanted to speak thousands. I wanted to be with him again, be there when started to lose control. Yet no more words passed my lips.  
‘Goodbye. Promise me you’ll stay safe.’ Even though we were separated by many, many miles, his eyes still pierced me.   
I just smiled; it wasn’t like I had a choice.  

Before I turned to say goodbye to Tony, I closed the laptop. This was my life now; a constant series of goodbyes.   
And by trying to act as if I was all right – as if I wasn’t going mad, locked up and feeling like some kind of Rapunzel, without any idea how long it would last – I was pushing everyone away. How deeper the cracks in my façade became, the further I had to push them so they wouldn’t be hurt.  
Because this was something the others didn’t seem to understand; they might all be worried about me, but I was even more worried about them. What if one of them got hurt – or worse – only to protect me? How would I ever be able to live with myself after that?  
Worst of all; I might feel like I was locked up in a Tower, but is was Bucky who had actually received this fate. Bucky, who deserved it most of all to finally be free, after being imprisoned in his own mind for too long.   
Bucky, with whom I had just lost connection, and to whom I had said nothing more than “bye”.  

So it wasn’t surprising my face had to become a mask of stone to not show Tony how badly I was hurt inside.   
‘Clint’s here,’ he said awkwardly. He – just like the other Avengers – looked exhausted, badly rested, with dark circles under his eyes, and quite a pale complexion.  
I nodded. ‘Have a safe ride.’   
‘We do this to make sure you’re safe… HYDRA is only getting worse… if I knew another way…’ Tony couldn’t articulate his thoughts, and I could hear all the guilt in his voice.  
‘I know, I know,’ I said, smiling painfully, quickly looking down at my hands.   
Tony cleared his throat, put his hand on my shoulder for a shot moment, tousled my hair, and left the room.   
I listened as I heard his footsteps go down the stairs, as he talked with Clint – though I didn’t hear what he was saying – as he exited the house, as the engine of his car started. As he drove away.  
‘Shit,’ I whispered, putting my head in my hands as I sank down on my bed. In less than five minutes I had hurt the two people I cared about most. What an awful day it was.


	14. Chapter 14

After I had sat there for a while, contemplating my life, starting to hyperventilate, I lay down on my bed, looking at the ceiling. I needed distraction. Distraction… I bolted upright. There was an idea, something that exited me and scared me at the same time.  
I opened up the laptop again, staring at it intensely. Out of nowhere the screen lit up. A small, satisfied smirk appeared on my face. Frowning, I concentrated harder. The laptop turned on, and opened the login screen. While all the keys stayed still, the small stars indicating the passwords appeared, and gave access to the computer. I sighed, and let myself fall on my back.  
This trick I had discovered a little while ago – after I had had a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. I had been about Bucky, or the Winter Soldier. I had seen the change appear in his eyes, turn his face colder than his metal arm. Someone had lifted a gun, no, I had, it was who did it, and shot him, through the head. I had awoken shaking and covered in sweat.  
For a long while I had been gazing at the computer with my mind blank. I had no idea how I did it, it just responded, like computer had always done, the way I had always known how to code.  
Naturally I hadn't told anyone yet – because it not only intrigued me, it simultaneously scared me. Where did this come from?

'Hey Clint,' I said, walking down the stairs. He was rearranging his arrows – typical. 'Do you want pancakes?'  
It was amazing how quickly his neutral expression could grow into a wide grin. It made me feel a little bit better.  
'How's everyone?' I asked, grabbing all the ingredients.  
'Fine, I guess. Thor had some "urgent matters" in Asgard, but everyone else is in the Tower, so…' silence fell. I baked, while Clint made his way through the house, checking god knows what. Suddenly his phone buzzed, still on the couch.  
I walked towards it, grabbed it, and stared.

HYDRA IN TOWER

THEY BROUGHT THE SCEPTER

'Clint!' My voice broke as I called out. 'Clint!'  
Within seconds he stormed into the room. I could only hold up the phone, my eyes large with panic. A long series of curse words flowed from his mouth, all the while he stormed into another room, came back with a duffel bag and grabbed my wrist.  
'We have to go,' he grunted, already dragging me out the door. Hardhandedly he pushed me into the car parked outside, and I barely sat down before we already drove off.  
'Are we going to help them?' I asked when I had finally processed everything.  
'What?' he exclaimed, 'of course not! I have to get you out of here. That's my job, protecting you. When we're somewhere safe, we can think what to do.'  
I heard his words, but the meaning didn't get through. The sceptre… I knew this was why Clint was so agitated and stressed; bad guys they could handle, potential mind control… not so much. I had heard the stories of the last time the sceptre had been used, and had seen Clint's face turn to stone every time the subject arose.  
We were already on some highway when I realised I was still clamping Clint's phone, my knuckles white. Without having to ask him, I threw it out of the window, and could see it splatter against the asphalt.  
I looked at Clint, who nodded approvingly. For a moment we held each other's gaze. They would come for us; we both knew it. And they would stop at nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

The sun was setting, and we were still driving. I had asked Clint if he knew somewhere to go, but it appeared his mind was as foggy as mine. There was a haunted expression in his eyes, and I couldn’t blame him. But we had to find a safe place, because these were still the Avengers we were talking about.   
‘Clint, we could stop at a small motel or something, maybe if you get some slee-’  
I screamed when something heavy hit the roof, and dented it. Immediately, Clint braked, pulled his bow from heaven knows where and jumped out of the car. I couldn’t see him, but suddenly a rain of bullets broke the glass. I ducked as quickly as was physically possible, and escaped the car.

Around the corner of the car I watched, and saw how Clint aimed at a quickly approaching figure. He let go of the arrow, and it went straight for his pursuer. The dark figure dodged the arrow at incredible speed, and swatted Clint out of the way. I saw his body fly, over the side of the overpass. I gasped. The dark figure turned towards me. It was Bucky.   
But is wasn’t him, I realised immediately, these eyes were cold. Neither Bucky’s nor glazed with the mystical blue light. This was the Winter Soldier.   
I turned and ran, knowing it wouldn’t save me, though my body didn’t care.   
The arms I had been longing for grabbed me. The hands I had wished to hold caused me pain.   
‘Bucky, don’t do this!’ I gasped through the pain. I got no answer. Suddenly I had a strange sensation in my left arm, as if I could feel my own arm being held, through the arm that held me. I willed it to let go.   
Freed from half of his grasp I turned around, facing the Winter Soldier.   
‘Don’t do this,’ I repeated. His eyes were wide and his facial expression was full of shock, he stared at his own hand as I let go of my control, and felt it slip away. I knew I only had seconds, so I did the first thing that came into mind – which was also the stupidest and most reckless thing to do.   
I leaped forwards, and pressed my lips on his. Our touch maybe lasted for two seconds, but to me, it felt like the whole world fell away, including all time.   
I was shoved backwards, and my head hit the car. My body slumped on the asphalt, and with blurred vision I looked up.   
The soldier was looking at me, his eyes wide.   
As good as I could, I smiled.  
‘It’s me, Bucky, remember?’   
He started coming closer, his eyes dark and clouded. If I die now, I thought, at least I will have seen him again. Very slowly, recognition crept into his eyes, until he bent over me.   
'Aella?’ He whispered. I nodded, smiling through my headache. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’  
'Don’t,’ I said, trying to get up. 'Don’t do this. Guilt won’t get us anywhere.’ Bucky helped me up, gripping me tightly, but with more care than only seconds before.  
'They’re coming, we have to go, now!’ Bucky urged, holding me close.  
'Clint,’ I protested weakly. He shook his head.   
'No, I’m sorry, there’s no time.’ He put one arm behind my back, and scooped my legs up with the other. He started to run, and it felt almost as if we were flying.   
With my eyes closed I leaned against Bucky, hearing his heartbeat. The soft motion of his body rocked me to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

‘I’m so, so sorry.’ A cool hand touched the side of my face, and I leaned into it. 'This is everything I was afraid of,’ Bucky whispered.   
'What?’ I muttered, letting an exhausted smile pull one side of my mouth upwards. 'The fact I am alive?’  
'I hurt you.’  
'A little concussion at most,’ I reassured him. ‘I’ve been hurt worse. You came back, that’s what we should focus on. Because the others-’ my voice haltered, and I opened my eyes, looking up at Bucky. His eyes were sad. He shook his head.  
‘They’re all under their control.’   
‘Even Bruce?’ I asked stunned, a heavy weight dropping in my stomach. Bucky frowned.  
‘They couldn’t control him like the others, but they prevented his body from changing. I don’t know how.’   
I shut my eyes again, and squeezed my eyelids shut. No matter how badly I tried to calm myself, to stop this sinking feeling, it wouldn’t work.   
How could I fix this? All the people that had become my family, had been turned into my worst enemies. Everyone who had vowed to protect me, had become the ones I had to protect myself from. I opened my eyes again, and looked into Bucky’s bright blue eyes. Not everyone, they reminded me.   
‘Bucky,’ I whimpered softly, ‘what do we do?’  
I sat up, and embraced him tightly. We pressed our bodies closely, as if to remind ourselves of each other’s presence. It was us against the world now. I allowed myself a moment of weakness, letting the tears flee my eyes. My sobs were muffled in the fabric of Bucky’s shirt.   
His strong arms hugged me, and in his strength, I could find some strength of my own. They protected me from the world falling down on me. They helped me carry the weight of the truth.   
‘What are we going to do?’ I asked, looking up at Bucky. His face was a mask of concern as he was looking down at me, but it was also filled with determination.  
‘I will keep you safe, until we find a way to fix this.’   
‘So you think we can fix this?’   
‘I think you can do anything.’ With a tiny smile he bowed down, and gently kissed me. It was a soft kiss, a seal upon our inner oath.


	17. Chapter 17

‘How is your head feeling?’ he carefully stroked my temple, and pushed back a small strand of hair.   
‘I’m a bit dizzy,’ I confessed, ‘but it shouldn’t take too long to go away.’   
Bucky didn’t look convinced. ‘You could barely walk yesterday.’   
‘O, that,’ I shook my head – a poorly made decision, seeing it only worsened the dizziness – ‘that wasn’t because I hit my head, it was because of what I did to your arm.’ Insecurely I looked up at him.   
‘You controlled it, how?’ he didn’t look too surprised; he had probably seen too much of the world to be surprised by something as small as controlling a metal arm from the outside.   
I shrugged. ‘It’s this thing I discovered, anything technological, really. I have no idea how – I just “feel” it.’ Trying to put it into words was almost impossible; I had to try to make someone understand something I didn’t understand at all.   
‘Could you do it again?’ He asked it very urgently.   
'I don’t know, why?’ But the expression on his face clarified the motives behind the question; so I could stop him again, if necessary. 'Maybe, if I practice.'    
Bucky nodded solemnly. ‘Please, do that.’ He stood, letting go of me. Only now I had attention for my surroundings. It could be described by one word: simple. There was nothing for decoration purposes, only the highly necessary; a bed, a nightstand, a chair beside the bed, a door to the bathroom.   
‘Motel?’ I asked. He nodded again. ‘How did you get the money?’   
‘I didn’t, I got the key.’   
That made sense. Why would they give the Winter Soldier any money? A simple weapon was enough.   
‘And we should be going.’ It wasn’t a question; it was a logical deduction. There was no possibility of us staying longer than maybe a day in one place. And it was best if we got as much distance between us and New York.   
‘I can get a car, but I need you to hide in the shower. Can you do that?’   
I nodded, while I shakily got up. Putting my feet on the ground, I rubbed my temples, and dried my cheeks with my sleeve. ‘Here.’ he handed me a small gun. I took it, but looked at it with big eyes. I felt the weight, not only the physical, but also the mental one. It felt like seal, proving this wasn’t a dream. Bucky showed me how to ready it, and with my hands clasped around it, I crouched down inside the bathtub. My heart started to beat louder and louder, as my mind showed me all the scenario’s that were slightly possible; all the people that could come in here, who meant to much to me to ever hurt, let alone kill. I closed my eyes, pressed my back against the cold tiles, and prayed I would never have to kill anyone.


	18. Chapter 18

One of the good things about Bucky being a super-soldier: he didn’t need much sleep if he wanted to. When it came to it, he could drive the car for nearly two days without losing any focus on the surrounding. Eventually we had to stop, because he needed his energy not only to drive, but also to conquer any potential threat.  
I, however, did sleep, a lot. This was caused by my constant practise of my newly discovered “talent”. I started with simple things like watches, controlling every single piece and gear inside, making it do exactly what I wanted it to do. From there I moved on to calculators, to small game computers. The more I practised, the less it drained me.    
The times we stopped Bucky slept, although barely. I understood his fear of someone coming through the door, but urged him to sleep, if only so he had more strength to fight whoever came.  
‘You have to know how to use a gun,’ he told me out of the blue, when I thought he was sleeping. We hadn’t talked much, not inside the car, not inside the motels; we were both caught up in our own heads.  
My first reaction was to reject, because I didn’t want to hold that gun more often than I needed to, and I certainly didn’t want to use it. Sadly, reason won, and I nodded.  
Bucky took me into the woods near the motel, far enough from any ears who might hear the gunshots and come near us.  
He stood behind me, helped me aim at the innocent trees, and I pulled the trigger. The loud bang rang through my ears, and the backfire shook through my entire body. It gave a thrill, could even be called enjoyable, if I didn’t imagine somebody’s pleading eyes, or the blood that would erupt from the wound.  
‘You are a fast learner,’ Bucky said quietly, when, after a bit more than a dozen bullets, all of them hit target.  
'Thanks,’ I sighed. 'But maybe I can hit a tree, I don’t know if I can shoot down… someone…’ and I didn’t want to, either.  
'If I do my job properly, you won’t have to. it is only a matter of precaution.’ There was a little edge to his voice. He didn’t want to do it, either, I thought, but he had done it so often, he could do it whether he wanted it or not.  
'If we just run,’ I said, grasping his hand, 'maybe you won’t have to.’ I leaned against him, and Bucky wrapped his arms around me from behind.  
'I wish I could believe that,’ He whispered in my hair. 'I wish I could.’

Back in our room, we sat side by side on the bed, I on the left, he on the right. I held my hand above his arm, and kept my eyes shut, so I could concentrate on all the little parts I sensed. When I felt like I had full control, I opened my eyes again, and watched as his fingers moved on my command.  
I quickly redrew my hand. 'Sorry… you shouldn’t be controlled.’  
'It’s okay… when it’s you, I don’t mind.’ He smiled insecurely.  
'Bucky…’ I said slowly, gathering my thoughts, 'there is one thing I have been wanting to ask… Why didn’t they use the sceptre on you?’ This had been bothering me for quite some time.  
'They did. It’s just,’ Bucky frowned, and brought his hand to his head, as if he had a headache, ’ my… old… self was stronger. It didn’t work.’ Suddenly I realised he was trembling.  
'You should sleep,’ I said softly. He looked at me, his eyes a bit wide, and clearly fear in them. 'I’ll watch you,’ I smiled, holding up the gun. ’ No one will get to you.  
'And to you?’  
'No one will get to me either. I am not going to die, not as long as you need me.’ I gripped his hand, and some of the fear disappeared from his eyes. He curled up, closing his eyes, relaxing his muscles. I watched him, as his face also relaxed. I couldn’t quite say his expression was peaceful, but at least it wasn’t as haunted.  
And even though his muscles relaxed, his hand kept holding on to me. He didn’t let go, I wouldn’t let go. I gripped the gun tightly, fear crawling around in my stomach, and watched the door. Nobody would get to him. Nobody.


	19. Chapter 19

We made our way across America without anyone finding us. Bucky stole what we needed, providing only what was highly necessary. We drove for days, we drove for nights, speaking to no one. Only fleeing, surviving.  
Finally, we found ourselves inside a nicer hotel room, where there was a proper shower, so Bucky brought back a set of nice, new clothes. I believed we were somewhere in Montana, but it could have been Idaho, or any other state for that matter. I held my gaze upon the door, while I gripped the gun Bucky had given me, and had taught me how to use. Since our practise I hadn’t fired it, but I still felt the power inside it. While guarding, I had taught myself to load the gun without using my hands; a useful trick. I had gotten really good at controlling mechanics around me, though it didn’t keep me from worrying; I had no experience whatsoever with life-or-death fights, but I knew the stress could freeze you, immobilise you. Besides, how long would I be able to control something as powerful as Tony’s suit, if it would come to it?

 'I will get us a new car,’ Bucky announced as he stepped out of the bathroom, putting on his shirt, his hair still wet. The empty expression I had been starting to notice was there, too. I hated it; he was trying to conceal his emotions, so he might not feel them. But I knew how those hidden feelings could destroy someone from the inside out.  
‘Bucky.’ He looked at me, already moving towards the door. 'Could you please come here?’ I patted the bed.  
He frowned for a moment, before he answered to my request.  
'Talk to me,’ I said softly, gripping his wrist, so he would have to make an effort of it before he could leave. 'What is going on in your mind?’  
This time he frowned deeper, as if he was trying really hard to figure that out.  
'I don’t know… ’  
'You are afraid, that I can see. But what is it you are so afraid of?’  
'Hurting you. Hurting Steve. Steve hurting you… Losing control.’  
I smiled sadly. 'I cannot promise about Steve, but I know you can’t hurt me. We practised, remember, I can hold you off.’  
'But for how long?’  
'Long enough for you to come back, Bucky. Please remember, how you are stronger than you might think.’ I breathed in deeply, and let the air escape my lips. ‘Now, get us that car.’  
Bucky looked at me unsurely, probably trying to figure out why I changed the subject all of a sudden. Well, to be honest, it was because I was thinking about my own fears, and he didn’t need those. I watched him go, and waited. 

There were footsteps outside the room. Had Bucky already returned? Or maybe it was another guest, from another room…  
To take no risks, I hid behind the shower curtain, clasping my weapon. The footsteps stopped, and if I had listened correctly, they were exactly in front of our door. There were some muffled sounds, and the door clicked.  
My heart skipped a beat.  
Maybe they were just cleaners? Or maybe even burglars, who wouldn’t look further than the room itself.  
The heavy footsteps came closer, then removed themselves again. A beat of sweat slid down my temple. The footsteps came closer again.  
I screamed when the curtain was ripped aside, and my finger pulled the trigger. A loud bang erupted from the small weapon, and someone beside myself screamed. With his hands claimed around his neck a strange man stumbled back, and fell gurgling to the ground. He looked me into the eyes, until they went blank.  
With wide eyes I looked at the growing pool of blood. I had done it… I had shot him, killed him.  
'Aella!’ In a reflex I aimed at the next person who entered the room. My arms were shaking, my vision growing both brighter and darker.  
'Aella,’ Bucky said, his palms upwards, 'it’s me. We have to go, are you all right?’  
'I shot him…’ I stuttered, looking down at my victim, 'I shot him, Bucky… I killed him…’  
'He would’ve killed you, he didn’t give you a choice.’  
His eyes were sad, but reassuring. I shook my head, feeling how the panic resided, being replaced by a more logical fear.  
'Yes, we should go,’ I said, a lot more audible than before. Still shaking, I grabbed Bucky’s hand, and stepped around the lifeless body. I winced when I felt the wetness underneath my shoes.    
‘Come,’ Bucky took me carefully, putting his arm around me.  
‘I- I- ‘ but I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t say I was all right, because I wasn’t.  
‘Come,’ Bucky repeated softly, taking me aside, shielding me from the world. he helped me to a car, though when I was in it, I couldn’t remember what it looked like. ‘Give me that.’ Surprised I looked down when I felt Bucky tug at my fingers, and saw how he took the gun from me. Now I also noticed how I was covered in blood.  
‘Please, get me away from here,’ I pleaded, pulling up my legs, and pressing my back against the chair. With my face pressed against my knees, I listened how the engine came to life, and we left the scene of the crime.


	20. Chapter 20

By the time we arrived at a motel far away from the last, I had stopped shaking. I tried really hard not to breathe through my nose, so I wouldn’t smell my blood stained clothes.  
‘We can’t stay here long,’ Bucky told me, as he escorted me inside, 'But we have time to get you cleaned up. Do you think you can clean yourself?’  
I nodded, trying to smile. 'Sure, yeah, absolutely.’ He looked at me worriedly, probably not really believing me.  
'I’ll stand guard. It will be okay, I promise.’  
'Yeah, sure, yeah…’ my voice trailed, and I quickly entered the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it with my forehead. 'Aella?’  
'I’m okay, really,’ I called through the door, and started to take off my clothes, throwing them in a small heap on the floor.  
When I stepped under the shower, I didn’t even wait until the water was hot: I just wanted to get rid of the memories.  
I stayed underneath the shower until the idea of the blood had been rinsed off me, almost drowning myself. I wasn’t sure if I was crying, or if my eyes were just stinging. Whatever the case, I forced myself not to make a sound. Through the slightly opened door, Bucky handed me a small stack of clothes. The underwear was meant for females, the rest wasn’t. Though because the rest meant hoodie and sweatpants, it didn’t really matter.  
With wet hair and slightly uneasy, I left the bathroom. Bucky was standing right between the bathroom door and the door shielding us from the outside. He was holding quite a gun.  
'We should go,’ I said, trying to show him I was reasonably stable.  
He nodded, and took me back to the car. During the ride Bucky kept looking at me, and opening his mouth slightly. But he didn’t say anything.  
We stopped at a 24/7 shop, where he bought food and other supplies, like sleeping bags. So it wouldn’t be a motel this time…  
We stopped somewhere inside what could be described best as a creepy alleyway, and sneaked around until we came by an empty, even creepier, warehouse. Bucky took me inside, a duffel bag over his shoulder, and brought me to a small room between the beams of the roof. Here he spread out blankets and sleeping bags.  
'You should sleep,’ He said, looking up at me. I nodded, and sat down, with my back against the wall, and the blankets pulled up high.  
'I’m not sure I want to,’ I said quietly. Bucky sat down beside me, and wrapped his arm around me, keeping a weapon ready with the other. I curled up against him, treasuring his warmth and solidity.  
'We can’t keep doing this,’ I whispered, closing my eyes and focussing on his breathing.  
'No we can’t.’ He sighed, and I felt the sudden fall of his chest.  
'But how can we bring them back?’  
Silence, in which we both tried to figure it out.  
'Natasha got Clint back,’ I said quietly, trying not to think of Clint’s slumping body, flaying off the overpass. A shudder went down my spine. Bucky gripped me a bit tighter. 'I don’t want to hurt any of them, but if that’s how I get them back…’  
'I could maybe overpower Steve,’ there was obvious pain in his voice, which I, too, felt in my own heart, 'though I don’t know… He won’t recognise me…’  
'Maybe they will, or at least their minds are fighting. Because Clint was fighting inside his head, how little it might have been… that may be the thing that saves us.’  
'How about Stark? Do you think you can control his suit?’  
'Not for long… but it should be long enough. As long as Natasha isn’t there… because I don’t know what to do if she’s there.’  
'Maybe…’ Bucky sounded doubtful, 'she won’t be. I can’t remember her, in the Tower. She could be on the run like us.’  
'O, I hope so with all my heart,’ I muttered, pulling myself just a bit closer to Bucky. 'Then we’ll have a chance.’  
'Good night, Aella.’  
'Good night, Bucky.’ 

And even though I was mortally afraid of everything around me, and the nightmares that would probably come, I let myself fall asleep. Because this time Bucky was near, and I trusted him. Together, we would conquer this mess. Together, we would be strong. Together, we would get them back.


	21. Chapter 21

There was someone, probably even multiple people. I didn’t know who they were, but they were quiet, careful, almost unnoticeable. I was pressed against the wall, and holding my gun in my hand, forcing myself not to shake. Bucky, too, was holding his weapon, standing between me and the only way someone could enter.   
Suddenly I heard someone call out my name.   
‘Natasha?’ I called out in surprise.   
‘Aella, are you all right?’ her voice was really tense, just like Bucky’s shoulders.   
‘Yes. Yes, I’m okay. Are you… how did you get out?’ what I actually meant, was: are you, or are you not, under the control of HYDRA?   
‘When they attacked, Tony told me to go immediately and find you. I got out before they overpowered the others.’  
I chewed my lip; it seemed like a good enough answer, but how could I know she was telling the truth?  
‘Clint is here too, will you let him come closer?’  
When she mentioned his name, my heart skipped a beat.  
‘Yes, yes, of course! Clint, are you all right?’   
‘Could be better, but I’m alive.’ I shut my eyes for a moment when I heard his voice. I had been so afraid for him.   
‘Can you step into the room?’   
‘Sure, if you’re not going to shoot me.’ He tried to sound light-hearted, but I could hear the tension in his voice, even worse than when we were in the car.   
‘We’re not.’   
‘Barnes won’t either?’   
‘Bucky won’t shoot, if you just step into the room, with your hands where we can see them.’ I prayed to God Clint would just do that, because I knew, Bucky wouldn’t hesitate pulling the trigger if he made suspicious movements. ‘Just keep your hands where we can see them,’ I repeated urgently.   
‘Hands where you can see them, got it.’ his voice was suddenly a lot closer, and he came into view. he didn’t look too badly battered, but it had been some time since the Winter Soldier had pushed him off the overpass, and the way he walked quite stiffly gave away his pain.   
Clint walked very slowly, his hands high up above his head, palms in our direction.   
‘How are his eyes?’ I whispered to Bucky, ‘are they weird-blue?’   
‘I… don’t think so,’ he answered slowly. ‘Can we trust him?’  
I sighed deeply. ‘I think we have no choice.’   
Carefully I stepped aside, revealing myself to Clint. A little smile spread across his face.   
‘How are you?’   
‘O, Clint… I’m so sorry…’ I smiled, too, even though I just as easily could have cried. I chose the smile, because crying wouldn’t solve anything. We had to be strong.   
I came even closer, until I looked him right in the eyes, and I could see his own greyish-blue eyes.   
‘Is Natasha really…?’ Clint nodded.  
‘She’s the one who basically scraped me off the highway.’ He glared behind me.  
‘Please, don’t…’ I put my hand on Clint’s arm. He looked back at me.   
’Are you sure we can-’  
‘Yes.’ I didn’t let him finish, ‘Yes, we can trust him.’ Clint looked me in the eyes for a moment, then shrugged.   
‘Nat, you can come out!’ he called. And there she came, looking dangerous as ever.   
‘Hey, Aella. Good to see you alive.’   
‘Same to you, Natasha.’   
Natasha glanced behind me. ‘Clint told me it was the Winter Soldier who attacked him… How did you bring him back?’   
Suddenly I felt flustered, and I tried not to show it. 'I… helped him remember,’ I eventually answered. Natasha still looked curious, though she seemed to realise she shouldn’t press me further.   
I looked back, and saw how Bucky still had his gun aimed.   
'It’s okay,’ I assured him, 'we can trust them. We have to trust them.’ He nodded, and after glaring at both Clint and Natasha, he put away the weapon, making his way towards us, stopping beside me.   
'What now?’ I asked Natasha and Clint. 'If you found us, it won’t take long before the others do as well.’   
'Then we’ll have to be ready. And if we’re lucky, they still haven’t found a way to control Bruce, and Thor is still at Asgard where they can’t control him either. Then it’ll be us against HYDRA and Steve and Tony.'    
‘So we’re really going to go against them?’   
Bucky put his hand protectively on my shoulder. Clint’s eyes flicked towards it for a split second as he wasn’t able to completely hide his surprise. ‘They’d do the same for us.’


	22. Chapter 22

Apparently Natasha had brought some "female" supplies, so when both Bucky and Clint left the room, I changed into new clothes, and Natasha helped me get the nots out of my hair.  
'How are you really holding up?' She asked, while she carefully brushed my hair. There was a long silence, until she had put my hair up into a ponytail, and I turned around.  
'I killed someone.'  
'Damn. We should have found you sooner. I'm sorry.' There was guilt and signs of her blaming herself for what happened on her face.  
'No, I don't think any of us should go and feel guilty right now… we won't be able to help Tony or Steve if that's all we think about.'

Because that was the most important thing now; we would have to find them, both of them, and get them back. The longer we waited, the more damage they might cause. So we got together, and opened up about our ideas, and the tricks and weapons we had up our sleeves. This also consisted of me trying to explain my "gift" to Natasha and Clint. Luckily, they had both seen enough to comprehend it quite quickly, without looking at me like I was some kind of freak – which was an immense relief.  
'So you can try to slow Tony down, while we try to knock him out?'  
'That's the plan,' I said, as confident as possible, while I was actually starting to panic. If this went south, a lot of people could get hurt. People on our side, people we care about.  
'And Barnes takes Steve, while we try to help him as soon as possible. It should work, if we can lure them away from HYDRA. If we're lucky, they'll arrive early.' Clint looked grim while he spoke, giving us a stern look, as if to tell us we probably wouldn't be lucky.

We would lure them towards us – by "accidently" showing up on camera footage. It had to be done very subtly, only showing a very small part of myself, so they wouldn't know it was what we wanted, and who were with me.  
Just before we set out to put the plan into motion, Bucky took me aside. He had kept himself on the background since Clint and Natasha had arrived, knowing very well they were watching him very closely for a sign of the Winter Soldier. Of course I had considered to address this issue, but I had figured my reassurance wouldn't convince them; they had both seen him in action, and even fought him. I couldn't blame them for being weary.  
Bucky carefully took me by the arms and looked at me solemnly. But before he could say anything, I spoke first.  
'No, this is not a goodbye,' I said with the greatest certainty, 'this will not be a goodbye, Bucky.'  
Bucky grimaced, and his eyes filled with sadness and remorse.  
'Aella, you know it is unlikely all of us will make it – and if there is someone who must say goodbye, it should be me.'  
'What?' I gasped indignantly, 'why- don't you ever say that again!'  
Bucky still looked sad, but not like he regretted the statement. 'You know it is true what I say.'  
I shook my head vigorously. 'No, we're all going to make it. We are saving Tony and Steve, and together we will take down HYDRA!'  
Now Bucky's lips curled into a tiny smile, and he cupped my face with his hand. 'I wish I could believe that.'  
I took his other hand tightly. 'You will.' And I kissed him, because I needed him to know how I felt, just in case… because while I may not wanted to believe there was a chance we wouldn't see each other again, it was a possibility. And I couldn't handle the thought of him not knowing exactly how I felt about him, how much I needed him. Besides, if he knew he was both needed and wanted, he might not think himself so unworthy of survival.  
While my kiss was full of passion and intense emotion, his was about goodbye. It was clear he thought this would be our last kiss, and he, too, poured so much of his soul in it.  
When he pulled back, there was a deep determination in his eyes, and he set his jaw. 'Come,' he said, gently laying his arm around my shoulders,  
'we have to go.'


	23. Chapter 23

Never in my entire life had I concentrated as hard as I did now. My eyes were closed shut, letting not the littlest bit of light reach my retina. I also had never tried to reach so far with my gift, and I was perplexed how much I could sense. All those little parts and wheels powered by electricity. But those were not what I was looking for; I was looking for one of the most complex and powerful creations of men, the suit of Tony Stark.   
Natasha sat beside me, because it was her job to both make sure I wouldn’t get hit and to nock Tony out if she got the chance. Bucky and Clint had positioned themselves a bit further away, so they would see it if we got attacked from the other side.   
‘I don’t feel him yet,’ I muttered, trying to spread my reach even further, ‘He-’ suddenly I could feel it, the power, the intricacy of the system. ‘He’s here.’   
‘Roger that.’ I heard her move, knowing she would inform the other half of our team. ‘Do you have a grip?’   
‘Almost, yes, yes, I think so.’ I tried to ignore the banging headache which started when I threw everything I had to the complex system of the suit.   
‘Great. When I say it, you must stop him, do you get that?’ Natasha’s voice was incredibly tense, but it didn’t sound like she doubted my capabilities.   
‘Yes, yes, I get it.’   
I wished she would tell me if Steve was there too, and if there were HYDRA agents, but she must have thought she shouldn’t distract me.   
Natasha released her breath, and she moved. ‘Okay. Three… Two… One… NOW!’ it felt like I gripped a 1000 Volt wire, and all the energy coursed through my body, scorching flesh and scorching bone. It felt like I tried to wrestle the suit myself, as if I was holding back the arms with my own. It felt like I had thrown myself in front of his blasters. But no matter what it felt like, I was holding him.   
There was so much noise and wreckage going on, I wanted to look. I was so scared someone might get hurt, someone might die. But if I opened up my eyes, it was almost certain this would happen.   
People were yelling and grunting, bodies were being hit with fists and feet. The suit was trying to break my grip, and I had to hold on with dear life. Suddenly there was a loud bang, and it sounded like someone was hit very hard, but who I didn’t know. I gasped when I heard the sound. I might have even yelped, or exclaimed in panic – I wouldn’t have noticed.   
At that moment, I lost a bit of my grip on the suit, and multiple voices called out my name. something big and heavy collided with me, and I was thrown aside. I hit my head on concrete, and the world fell away.  

‘Aella? Aella?’ I moaned. Someone was calling my name. I wondered why they couldn’t just let me sleep. Wasn’t it bad enough I had to spend my days locked up in this “safe house”? Wait… my thoughts started to speed up. hadn’t I left that house? And then… and then… in one giant wave, all of my memories returned. I gasped and opened my eyes.   
A very battened – but also very alive – Bucky was looking down at me, worry and pain in his eyes.   
‘Aella?’ he gasped, and relief spread across his face. I tried to get up, and Bucky helped me.   
‘Where’s everyone?’ I croaked.   
‘In the other room, come, they’re not awake yet.’   
Together we made our way through abandoned hallways, until we found the room where Tony and Steve were tied to a chair, while Clint and Natasha kept their weapons fixed. All of them looked like they went through hell, just like Bucky, but all that mattered now was that they were alive.   
Shaking slightly, I waited until they would move. Bucky stood beside me, his arms crossed, a strong tension in his body. 

Steve was the first to move. He groaned softly, and his eyelids fluttered. He looked up, and frowned when he saw his old friend. ‘Bucky?’   
‘Steve?’ Bucky sounded insecure, yet hopeful. He was frowning, studying his friend, trying to figure out if his eyes looked normal.   
‘Bucky… what happened? Why?’ Steve frowned, and it was obvious he was trying to remember how he got here.   
Apparently Bucky had decided this was the real Steve, and he started untying the ropes. He helped Steve get up, and when they faced each other, Steve embraced him. I watched them, and when I smiled, I heard an uncomprehensive “Aella?”.   
‘Tony?’ I turned towards the other chair, and saw Tony looking up at me. I had never been happier to see his brown eyes.   
‘O, Tony…’ I immediately started fighting the ropes, and with some help of Clint, they fell away. Immediately, I hugged Tony. ‘I’m so happy you’re alive,’ I choked, and tightened my grip.  

It was a strange moment. We had to help Tony and Steve remember what had happened, and even after that, they couldn’t remember what they had done. You could see the guilt settle on their faces, no matter how hard we tried to convince them nothing of this was their fault.   
Eventually we had all collected ourselves again, and after a long silence in which we all looked each other in the eyes, Tony cleared his throat.   
‘Let’s get these sons of bitches.’ ****~~~~


	24. Chapter 24

It was amazing how well the Tower’s systems listened to me. It was almost as if it _wanted_ me to take back control. I made the entire Tower rebel against HYDRA, so they had no chance to escape. There was no warning, so while they weren’t ready, we were all set to avenge.  
The fight was intense but short; now we were finally a team again, nothing could stop us. The first thing we did was free Bruce, and once whatever had kept him from turning into the Hulk wore off, there was no stopping him. 

The HYDRA agents were surrendered to the government, who would put them in prison until they would receive the punishments they deserved. They wouldn’t bother us anymore.  
At last, we were alone in the building, and we sat down in the rubbles of the living room.  
Looking around it was obvious most of us were more dead than alive, but there was also a satisfied gleam in all of our eyes. We had done it. Together, like we had said. Sure, there were still HYDRA agents out there, but it would take a long time for them to regroup. 

‘Who gave Stark permission to hold that thing?’ Clint grumbled, glaring at Tony, who was holding the sceptre while he lay on the sofa.  
‘Easy, Barton. I’ll put it down,’ Tony smirked, laying it upon the remains of the coffee table. He stretched, and looked at me. I sat on a couch together with Bucky, my head against his shoulder, almost falling asleep. Then Tony’s eyes moved from me to Bucky, and I could see the traces of an internal debate going on inside his head appearing on his face. Eventually, he sighed.  
‘Barnes…’ he said hesitantly. Bucky turned around (he had been talking to Steve in a hushed tone). ‘I just wanted to say… Thank you.’ Bucky frowned.  
‘What for?’  
Tony sighed again. ‘Keeping Aella safe, saving her when I almost shot her.’ He grimaced when he said that. I bit my lip – if it had been up to me, he would have never found out about that, but Clint had insisted he should know, especially because I hadn’t really been hurt.  
Bucky lowered his gaze, looking down at me, and smiling. ‘It was no more than I wanted to do.’  
I smiled back, gripping his hand. Then I looked up and around. With no more than three words, I got everyone to brighten up. ‘Who wants pancakes?’ 

## Epilogue 

It was surprising how our bedrooms hadn’t been wrecked at all, and we could all sleep in our own beds. But when I lay down, I kept turning and turning, even though I hadn’t slept in a proper bed for a very long time. Whatever I tried, to couldn’t fall asleep. Eventually, I got up, and did the only thing which seemed natural; I made my way to Bucky’s room. Just as I wanted to knock, the door opened, and I looked up to a surprised Bucky.  
‘I was just about to go to you,’ he whispered, smiling.  
‘I couldn’t sleep without you.’  
I hugged him tightly, enjoying his warmth before kissing him. This time it was a happy, relieved kiss. A kiss full of hope, because we had broken through mountains together, and still emerged stronger than before.  
‘Come.’  
I climbed into the bed, and made myself comfortable against Bucky’s warm body. His arm wrapped around me, and I looked up at him. He was smiling, and I was smiling back.  
This was where I was supposed to be. Because I knew I was safe, I knew it perfectly well. And Bucky did too. But our hearts wouldn’t believe the mind, not until we were together.  
Bucky’s blue eyes gleamed and even sparkled, while he looked happier than he had ever looked.  
With gentle fingers he stroked my face, twirled a little strand of hair.  
‘I love you,’ he whispered quietly, a deep fire in his eyes.    
My heart fluttered, skipped a beat. He had said it. He had said what my heart had been screaming for so long. I moved just a bit closer, so I could look him deep in the eyes and open up my heart to him.  
‘I love you too.’


End file.
